A Eulogy for Kevin McCarthy’s Speakership
I wanted to be speaker of the house,
So much so that I ignored when, over her pleas, he still tore her blouse,
So much so that I generously made room for my enemy storming the halls,
So much so that I voluntarily chopped off my own balls,
So much so that I gave up American democracy for power,
So much so that, in the coward’s presence, I chose to do nothing but cower,
So much so that, for less than a dollar, I sold the rights of the American people,
So much so that I forfeited my humanity so I could instead be morally feeble,
So much so that I sold the skinny remnants of my soul to the devil,
So much so that the devil, in turn, gave me his shoes because the devil knew I needed something to wear as I ran from the truth.
I wanted to be speaker of the house.
I wanted to be speaker of the house.
I wanted to be speaker of the house.